January 20, 2014
One nice thing about getting up earlier is catching the sunrises. They are so pretty in winter here.
The hardest thing will be finding my rhythm and trying to readjust... It'll happen with time.
Psalm 78
Lord - sometimes I don't get the change between the Old Testament God and the New Testament God. I know You are the same yesterday - today - and tomorrow - But it seems like You were learning to love us - Just as we have to learn how to love you.
Perhaps it was all to prove that without a savior - we really would be killed from Your wrath because of our inability to learn how to properly love you.
Why not start with a Savior first?
Maybe because You knew we'd want to try it on our own first.
The punishments in the Old Testament have always kind-of bugged me too because of their harshness - and not that the Israelites wouldn't have driven me to madness - but sending a plague to wipe out a whole bunch of them for complaining while wandering in a desert seems severe. Maybe it's my modern cultural indoctrination but I feel like the fact that it was hot and there were a lot of people and they were running from slavery, but not really sure where they were going - that would've made tensions run high and people probably were in a bad mood - and I can't say I entirely blame them - or that I would have been any different.
Maybe that also is the point... You know we are weak - but that doesn't mean You can turn a blind eye to justice. Our weakness is no excuse - There are no excuses that actually solve a wrong.
Justice is justice - setting things right isn't just explaining how/why they went wrong... it's actually atoning for them - paying for the consequences - and restoring them to where they are meant to be.
Despite the fact that we are weak and therefore we sin - the fact remains that we fall short - we sin. And the fact remains that You are holy and will not allow sin to go unnoticed - unanswered - unpunished. That is our human tendency - to ignore - downplay - or learn to live with our imperfections. But You refuse to let that continue - because You are holy and because You set things right.
And because of that - we need a Savior - not just to restore what was lost - but to help us live as we ought (still imperfectly) with Your Spirit within us.
You are the same God - from Old Testament to New Testament - and Your wrath against sin - despite our best excuses - is the same. The reason I haven't been smote down with a plague - despite demanding what I want on a regular basis - is because I am covered by the blood of Christ. He paid for my injustices - paid for my sin - by accepting them from me and exchanging them with the Spirit of God which is gradually filling that hole with His goodness.
That wrath is being preserved and it will come again - but You will long suffer and wait until every person who will come - comes.
The punishments will be just as severe - even more severe and more eternal - when that day comes - and maybe why You had me read this is because so often I want to ignore that part of You - so often I want to ignore the angry righteous God in favor of a more palatable forgiving, long suffering, patient God.
It's important Whitney - that you tell people of my love and forgiveness and the life I offer - because of my angry judgment. It isn't like I will let them go on with that hole - inflicting damage - whether intentional or not - whether with good explanation or not - sin is sin and must be wiped out. It's important Whitney not to lose perspective of both.
Help me Father. It is hard in my human weakness - By Your Spirit I will need your help to live right and share with others. Help me learn right perspective.
Amen.
