February 6, 2014
New journal... Always feels a little strange to start a new one. Been a good day off. Pottery studio in the morning, lunch with Jason - playing with Apple, time with You in the afternoon. I have a list of things I'm supposed to get done that may not get finished today =P But they'll live for another day.
It feels good to just soak the goodness of a worthwhile time in... Heart feels full of many good things and contented.
Psalm 90
Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations
Before the mountains were brought forth
or ever you had formed the earth and the world
from everlasting to everlasting You are God.
You return man to dust
and say "Return, O children of man!"
For a thousand years in Your sight are but yesterday when it is past,
or as a watch in the night.
You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning:
in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
in the evening it fades and withers.
At first I wondered why our day are so short - but then I kind of think that it is a blessing actually...
For we are brought to an end by your anger;
by your wrath we are dismayed.
You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
Compared to your eternity - we are but a blip on the map - Even Moses - ancient before even David -recognized this... but what a blessing death is considering the havoc we can reek in one lifetime... even in trying to live a just and righteous life -
Yet their pride is but toil and trouble.
Given this brief moment in time Lord -
Teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Help me not to squander my life away - letting it be wasted on the days of Your wrath - let it not be spent hiding away in sin.
Return, O Lord! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
Sometimes I feel this way about Your return. It feels exhausting at times to be dedicated to this life... Almost torturous. I just want things to be settled back to right - the way they were meant to be...
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us
and for as many years as we have seen evil.
Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us,
yes, establish the work of our hands!
There's no way we could make a difference in this world without Your help Father. You've designed our lives to be short with reason - but given that - You must establish the work of our hands - You must establish our lives - for them to make any difference on this world at all...
Nothing would satisfy us but Your love.
I think in our hearts - what each of us wants is a happy and productive life... When we stop to consider how short our lives are - how empty our days can become - filled with so much impermanence - it is so disheartening. But in You Father we find satisfaction - permanence - and meaning...
Father - thank for this life - both the length and the shortness of it... While I have breath Father and am on this earth - I want to be satisfied in You and for the work of my hands to be established by You. Teach me to neither rush nor squander my days Lord - but to find their proper measurement and place in You. Thank You Father for the gift of life and time. I pray You would help me to spend them wisely. Amen.
