More snow today. I was more upset about it last night than I am this morning. Right now with the day off anyways - snuggled with a blanket and little Apple Rose - and caught up on my blog, it feels nice and magical and beautiful to be snowed in again.
I'm reminded of a dream I had vividly when I was little - almost like a vision - when we were at Mount Chestnut - of this deep snow falling and I ran outside and there's this beautiful white polar bear - black, black eyes and black nose - standing in the snow - just regarding me as I regarded him - and it was so silent you could hear the snow falling -
And then I woke up. The vivid senses of that dream have stayed with me every since though - fresh and clear - almost more fresh and clear than many of my memories - and the snow that was falling at the time was like this - so light as to almost be like a rainy mist... So gentle you almost couldn't see it...
I love how magic invades my life. The days I am so strongly aware of it and I could believe any myth - accept that this world is only a thin veil of the true world that is filled with so much adventure and secret and creatures of magic and mystery - beyond science - beyond fact - beyond our comprehension - Full to bursting with the unimaginable around every corner.
I feel like I see it - out of my peripheral vision - always just barely catching a glimpse of the greater world that lies beneath the surface of things and subtly laughs and hints from flickers of shadow and light... Right there - in the corner ofour eyes. We turn our head and we miss it and they're gone.
I love days like today...
And feel sad because I want to catch more of it than just the flickers on the edges. I want to run into the forest searching for the fairies and the nymphs - hugging the trees that are quietly laughing at me in my joy and frenzy and flop on my back to peer up into that silent mysterious sky as the snow silently falls with its gentle shush, shush, shush... hear the sound of my own breath and own heartbeat - so loud in comparison - and wonder at the quiet majesty and splendor of life - in that briefest of moments - when the whole world and its constructs fade - leaving only the wild mystery of the snow and the sky and the trees and life... I want to hold onto those moments - sink into that world and be suspended - out of time and place and the flimsy structures we manufacture to frame our lives - rather than set ourselves free.
Then the small dog next to me sighs and stretches and shows me her belly for rubs in her sleep and I am reminded that there are good reasons to be in the Here and Now. There are good reasons to stay within this world - even with all its silly frameworks - she is only a small one of those reasons... but a good reminder and one day... one day I'll make it to that other world of wonder and mystery when all things come alive with their full magic and mystery. Rather than just giving me teasing hints and glimpses of it out of the corners of my eyes - I'll be able to gaze on it - full in its wonderful face.
What a gift of a Psalm to read when I am enraptured by all the beauty and majesty and mystery of this world that You have created!
How it takes my breath away to be swept up into seeing the oceans withdraw from the mountains - to see the springs gushing forth to give life - the trees budding with fruit - the animals rejoicing - the earth full and lush with Your majesty and being...
O Lord - how manifold your works!
In wisdom have you made them all.
I will sing to the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have being.
May my meditation be pleasing to him,
for I rejoice in the Lord.
Let sinners be consumed from the earth,
and let the wicked be no more!
Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Praise the Lord!
I hesitated on the last verse - but then realized - no, it IS what I want - for this world to be restored - for us to revel again in Your creation, free as we were meant to be - it is what my heart longs for - though I will wait willingly with you in long-suffering - that any and all who are willing may be gathered in to play in this most wondrous of Secret Gardens. Amen.
