November 12, 2014
Much needed day of rest. Today is quiet and bright and my heart at peace. Words of a friend at a much needed time: The struggle is okay. The wrestle is good. You have the freedom to be who you are - where you are - that is also GOOD. That is ALSO the goodness of the Lord.
The storm was residing before - but today I feel more fully washed clean. It is good to take a deep breath - and I mean that in every sense of the words.
Thank you for carrying me through.
Thank you for the freedom of being honest.
Colossians 4:2-6
Such a little note tucked away at the end of the letter. Ironic to me that I already read verse 2 earlier today and that we are going through Colossians at church.
"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."
I like the New Living Translation:
"Devote yourself to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart."
Alert and sensitive to God's will... watchful for His work - on guard against the fact that our greatest enemy lies within our own hearts and minds.
If more Christians realized that our enemy was not outside of us - perhaps we'd have an easier time with the next verses:
"At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open a door to us for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ... that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak."
The mystery of Christ - locked in my own inabilities - trapped by the limits of words and my own failings and hypocrisies - the word of Christ is not always clear. But often muddled and confused in my poor reflection.
How could any come to Christ unless You opened the door to their hearts? Such awful poor images we make. It feels like a tragic comedy to me that You would choose us to reflect the Best News to the world.
To be able to do that - to even share what light we have in our jars of clay - the following prayer/instruction is so important:
"Walk in wisdom (not arrogance! Not pride! Not "know-it-all-ism!" Not knowledge - not an-answer-for-everything - not impartial truth - cold logic - hard facts - or proof - walk in WISDOM) towards outsiders (not just those we consider outsiders - but who consider themselves to be outsiders) making the best use of time (what matters more? Winning the argument? Winning the philosophical debate? Spending time arguing about the theology? Or knowing the heart?) Let your speech always be GRACIOUS (not instructive - not corrective - not RIGHT - not perfected), seasoned with salt (You are the salt of the earth - put here to make people go "this is different - this tastes more alive") so that you may know how you ought to answer each person (as an individual, in their story, not as a people group - not as a philosophy - not as a point of view - not as a collective idea - but each. individual. person. As his/her self.)"
This is important.
This is Christ.
This is His ministry. His love - to His people.
Father - help me. It is easier for me to categorize people - even the people who are my brothers and sisters in faith (perhaps even more especially so with them for me than others if I am honest) than to see them as individual hearts to be heard. I want answers Lord to the collective questions - rather than wisdom for the individual soul. You come to us in the midst of our stories - of our lives - not to our philosophies, theologies, ideas, concepts, or collective opinions.
Help us Father to seek out the people behind the universalities that we wear. To not settle for a blanket response to the group this person belongs to - rather than to him/her as an individual in their own story - in the context of their life. Open up the doors to hearts Lord - and let me - help us - not to trample on those opportunities - on their hearts and souls - but to come in and season their lives with wisdom and love.
I am a poor imitation Father - and I make such a mess of things. Even as familiar as I am with words I still feel like I muddle things more than I explain them...
Truly it is a miracle that anyone hears the Good News of Christ whenever any of us who follows after Him opens our mouths or steps out into this world!
Help me Father to have true graciousness...
True grace...
That comes from the heart.
Not just in my actions or words or attempts, but grace that has been implanted where once their grew arrogance - pride - self-righteousness - self-abasement - and false humility. Teach me to be gracious by Your grace and Father - may I make this world taste better for those who are around me -
that they may truly taste and see the goodness of the Lord through my life.
Amen.
