July 2, 2014
Here O Lord are all my what-ifs and could-bes
All my might-have-beens, wish-it-weres, and maybe-will-bes
Here O Father are my dreams - my hopes - my fears
My insecurities
My quirks, my quisms, my doubts, my questions
and all my inabilities
Here are my talents, my passions, my possessions
my will
Everything I've accomplished - everything I've failed
promises broken - promises fulfilled.
These are my disappointments - and my pride
My desires, my wishes, and my avoidances
Everything I run to and away from
all my escape routes, last resorts, Plan Bs, and desperations
... I am out of them.
Here is me.
I will trust you incompletely
love you unfaithfully
doubt you readily.
I will fight you
and cling to you
cry to you - yell at you - need you desperately
I will rarely say I'm sorry
even if I know I'm wrong
and I'll try to be humble - unsuccessfully.
I will do my best
- and fail -
Miserably.
... and sometimes - I will not want to try again.
I am broken -
even while I consider myself "more put together"
than everyone else.
This is me.
Are you really SURE You still want in?
(Am I?)
I AM.
